You are so full of shit, the toilets jealous. I want you on the other side of it. Somewhere out there, a tree is producing oxygen for you. Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion? "You're such a nerd" "Thanks for calling me smart, honey." "I'm not a nerd, I'm just smarter than you." 5. Here are a few fun comebacks you can use next time someone makes about a joke about your 5head. By using our site, you agree to our. Wish I had a flip phone so I could slam it shut on this conversation. I am returning your nose. Dont you get tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning? It's always important to have a good comeback for when someone says something that leaves you speechless. It's bigger than the women your dad sleeps with. You are the human version of period cramps. What Do You Call Someone Who Doesnt Want To Get Married? Id like to leave you with one thoughtbut Im not sure you have anywhere to put it! Im looking forward to the pleasure of your company since I havent had it yet. If I ever need a brain transplant, Id choose yours because Id want a brain that had never been used. If I said anything to you that I should be sorry for, Im glad. If I told you that I have a piece of dirt in my eye, would you move? If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on earth. Even if it is true, this is just an easy way of remarking less about you. I was hoping for a battle of wits but you appear to be unarmed. Earth has a population of over 7 billion, and I had to meet the biggest loser imaginable. Are all your friends this stupid as well? You are a pizza burn on the roof of the worlds mouth. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that? Guy: I want to give myself to you.Girl: Sorry, I dont accept cheap gifts. As a small thank you, wed like to offer you a $30 gift card (valid at GoNift.com). Light travels faster than sound which is why you seemed bright until you spoke. Daily Mail. 57. Itll also make you look hilarious to anyone who overhears. (Part 1), Online Dating: Icebreaker Questions That Get The Answers. wikiHow is a wiki, similar to Wikipedia, which means that many of our articles are co-written by multiple authors. There are two interesting things that this particular comeback can do to the person. You see that door? Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you're an expert on my life and how I should live it. Who do you think I am? Yourfamilytree must be a cactus cause youre all a bunch of pricks. This also ruins the moment. Are you on the lookout for some funny insults and comebacks. You're on MY land! But then, whats my own humble opinion against thousands of others?I hear that when your mother first saw you, she decided to leave you on the front steps of a police station while she turned herself in. 79. ago. Vote for the best comeback when people diss your big forehead I think you've confused me with someone who cares. You wouldnt want to go around with people that keep telling you that you have no friends because of your attitude. I want a typhoon. You dont want to match their ridiculousness. 99. Remember that time you were saying that thing I didnt care about? We guarantee at least one of these snarky comebacks will wipe the smirk off your enemys face. Everyone makes mistakes. Mind if I take yours? Purposeful and intentional people are respected and feared. Good Comebacks 1. To create this article, 45 people, some anonymous, worked to edit and improve it over time. Here are some "who are you" comebacks: You have no idea who I am? Then he will say of course i do ! Jill Zwarensteyn is a writer and Michigan native who covers trending topics, pop culture and astrology. You almost reached a level of coherency resembling my newborn son. Hey, your village called they want their idiot back. You bring everyone so much joy when. 11. Dont you get tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning? Everyone touches you, but nobody wants you. At least I dont gotta deal with two-faced fishes like you, Comebacks When Someone Calls You A Copycat. A good roast in response to someone telling you that you have no life could be something along the lines of: Well, at least I have a life more interesting than yours which consists of sitting around all day and doing nothing. I'm not answering you, I'm telling you Well, if this is what they ask, here are some examples of witty comebacks you can use: "You've got very short hair, are you a lesbian?". Theres actually a French term for this called lesprit de lescalier. I didnt put garlic over my door because I think youre a vampire. 75. There are some remarkably dumb people in this world. Best Roasts |Best Dark Jokes You need to be able to quickly gather your thoughts and say something witty in return. You can either turn the other cheek around or step up to them so that they do not keep going down this road. Guy: Id like to call you. I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and poop out a smarter statement than whatever you just said. They make for some pretty good comebacks! Feel free to keep your mouth shut instead. Whats your number?Girl: Its in the phone book. Youre lucky intelligence isnt measured in negative numbers. I must have been imagining things. Jesus might love you, but everyone else definitely thinks youre an idiot. 4. Top 100 Friendship Quotes | True Friends Quotes To Share, 30 Best Comebacks When Someone Says You Dont Have Any Friends. If I threw a stick, youd leave, right? If you need a perfect comeback, there are plenty of funny ones below! Oh, Im sorry. 1. You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. Go back to wherever you came from! Copyright Social Mettle & Buzzle.com, Inc. The only fault about this comeback is that it can reflect that you are angry and vulnerable when reminded of your reality. We do not complain about your shortcomings, but about your long sayings. When you get to the mens room, you will see a sign that says, Gentlemen. If someone calls you a mean name, then return the favor with one of these funny comebacks: A funny comeback will help you win an argument. Savage Comebacks You should come with a warning label. The song Army of One is an ode to your loneliness. I was today years old when I realized I didnt like you. Guy: Im all youve got cutie pie.Girl: Then I must not have a lot. Why didnt you choose the dark alleyway? Saying any of this to them will make you feel better and more confident as opposed to their expectation of your reaction. Your only purpose in life is to become an organ donor. I cant think of anything to celebrate on your birthday except you being closer to death. Remember when I asked for your opinion? Ylwppl 9 mo. Guy: Does beauty run in your family?Girl: It obviously doesnt in yours! Somewhere out there, theres a tree working very hard to produce oxygen so that you can breathe. Help! We use cookies to make wikiHow great. I created this site to help people with verbal self-defense and to find the right words in difficult situations Read more. It reminded me to take out the trash. Discover short videos related to comebacks if someone says i have a brain on TikTok. You are so full of shit, the toilets jealous. 7. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. When you give this response, you are justifying why the person may think that way about you. I need a come back for being called small brain. 55. Were you born on the highway? Best Deez Nuts Jokes | Best Yo Mama Jokes That is where most accidents happen. Im not a proctologist but I know an asshole when I see one. So asking the person what is wrong with you not having friends will naturally prompt the person to start explaining why he or she said that. You suck. Guy: Your Ugly.Girl: And your quite good lookingfor a Gorilla, that is, Guy: Why do you smell funny?Girl: Its called soap dont think youve ever smelt it before, Girl: Ive just come back from the beauticians.Guy: Pity it was closed. If you were a spice, you'd be flour. The next time they annoy you, say these witty words. We hope you enjoy this website. Im not insulting you, Im describing you. 82 Chuck Norris Jokes//91 Yo Mama Jokes//154 Bad Jokes//118 Bad Dad Jokes, Best Dad Jokes | Best Pick Up Lines Guy: Havent we met before?Girl: Yes, Im the receptionist at the V.D. Your skin is glowing, but I think its from the radiation emanating from your toxic ass personality. The amount of meaningful things youve done in your life wouldnt be enough to fill a single page. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. Theyll find this collection of roasts hilarious! Someday youll go far. Please continue while I take notes. Thanks for the compliment! Is your name Laryngitis? Id slap you but I dont want to make your face look any better. 76. Justify why you truly have no friends. Never try to explain your comeback if they don't get it, it will just ruin the moment. Get well soon. If you were an inanimate object, youd be a participation trophy. Minimum-Ingenuity550 9 mo. You need a kiss on the neck from a crocodile. Yep, the prettiest girls all seem to have the biggest foreheads. 5. Dont worry about me. Yes, you must have 10 times as many brain cells as I! Another way you can drive a superb comeback is to absorb the perceived insult and reiterate why it may seem to them like you dont have friends. Be ready and willing to pick apart what someone says. When somebody. Whered you get your clothes, girl, American Apparently Not? They often hide behind the shield of their unwavering "honesty," but be careful not to confuse honesty with unpleasant, baseless . People like you are the reason God doesnt talk to us anymore. It's totally frustrating after an argument to finally think of a great thing you could have said during the fight. Dont worry. Which means you're just as hard to remove. Are you ready to hop in that garbage can? Having no friends is better than being fake friends with you. But it strikes even harder when you rub it on the persons face that you are giving them the silent treatment to emphasize this reason. Ill never forget the first time we met. 40. 91 Short Jokes//172 Dad Jokes//91 Corny Jokes//75 Stupid Jokes//82 Dark Humor Jokes They might have just said that out of bitterness, hoping youd feel bad about yourself. Then we are content to be alone. Whats the latest dope besides you? Whatever anyone says to you goes in one ear and out the other because nothing is blocking traffic. When I want your opinion, Ill rattle your cage! When they made you, they broke the mold and beat the mold maker. When you die, Id like to go to your funeral, but Ill probably have to go to work that day. The next time your pea-brained friend tries to forehead shame you, it's a fact you might want to bring up. It's a game changerget it free for a limited time! You be the door and Ill slam you. Look, dont go to a mind reader; go to a palm reader; I know youve got a palm. Looking at you, I realize what a waste of skin you are. Moonlight becomes you total darkness even more! Nobody says that you are dumb. Keep rolling your eyes, you might eventually find a brain. How did you get here? Im still trying to figure out yours. 8. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. Unfortunately, the blueprints are messy, written in Mandarin, and waterlogged beyond all recognition. 46. Youre the reason the divorce rate is so high. However, we normally feel some form of relief when we cry. Every cloud has a silver lining. 23. 18. Focus strictly on the words and come back with something like "Yes, but at least my stink will shower off, unlike your rancid personality." 5. 10 times 0 is zero, you have proven my point. 5/21 Hey Now, Young Lady. Id hate to come across a universe where youre funny. I always yawn when Im interested. Ordinarily people live and learn. Oh, Im sorry. or have been wasting their time racking their brain to get answers that you've just provided. Its people like you that make it so easy to be picky about who I hang around with, 23. 54. Some people hatch into whatever the hell you are. Get well soon." 2. Ive seen people like you before, but I had to pay admission. Id finally get some peace and quiet. That can be a good thing. 2. No matter where you go, people, have a way of getting into your head by hurling out savage insults or mean remarks. 72. 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\n<\/p><\/div>"}. Ive never had many life goals. RELATED:111 Ways To Say "F*ck You" While Keeping It Classy. Are you at a loss for words, or did you exhaust your entire vocabulary? Guy: Havent I seen you someplace before?Girl: Yes, thats why I dont go there anymore. There is even a 5head club, which Urban Dictionary defines as, "When someone's forehead is so big, that it can no longer be called a forehead. Hey, you have something on your chin. 22. If you ever cross my mind, Ill make sure its a busy intersection. You are the architect of your life. If youre going to act like a turd, go lay on the yard. 63. no man it was a comeback for the dude saying it . No matter how many shmucks I meet in my life, I can always trust you to be the absolute worst. You need a kiss on the neck from a crocodile. Your brain is working overtime today. 200 Sarcastic Quotes 1. Everyones entitled to act stupid once in a while, but you really abuse the privilege. I found it in my business. To create this article, 45 people, some anonymous, worked to edit and improve it over time. 6789 Quail Hill Pkwy, Suite 211 Irvine CA 92603. Cookie Notice Girl: Darling, do you think Ill lose my looks as I get older?Guy: With luck, yes. 5. You just have bad luck when youre thinking. Thats why you should mind your own business and shut the f*ck up, 25. It's hard to come up with a good roast right on the spot when you're in a confrontation. This shows that you are confident and secure in your relationships. May 26, 2021 by Emma. Im trying to imagine you with personality. Use the situation that led to the person saying you dont have friends to leverage your comeback. Guy: I can see forever in your eyes.Girl: But all I can see is never in yours. Youre the type of person that uses their 3. In fact in your case theyre nothing. Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people. Dont you have a terribly empty feeling in your skull? Dont you need a license to be that ugly? Allow me to be the first one. Please, keep talking. 43. 30. I just found your nose in my business. You're like the first slice of bread in the packet, everyone touches you but no one wants you. Right!? I'm the person you should have treated with respect. 4. For more information, please see our Admit with confidence that you dont have friends. Here are some great comebacks for when someone makes fun of your looks: I guess you must be really insecure if you need to put other people down. Aww, its so cute when you try to talk about things you dont understand. They say ignorance is bliss. 86. January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University. 31. Last weeks test was on shapes and colors, but it appears like you might have to revisit that after todays conversation. No matter how much a snake sheds its skin, its still a snake. I noticed the improvement immediately. You are so dishonest that I cant even be sure that what you tell me are lies! You are so dumb, you need a cue card to say Huh? You are so dumb, you need instructions on how to use a rocking chair. You are so dumb, you planted a dogwood tree and expected a litter of puppies. You are so dumb, you play solitaire for cash. You are so old, if you to acted your age, youd die. I heard your parents took you to a dog show and you won. I know you are nobodys fool, but maybe someone will adopt you. I refuse to engage in a battle of wits, as I will not take advantage of the handicapped. I reprimanded my brother for mimicking you. You must be from the shallow end of the gene pool. You must be the arithmetic man you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance. You must have a low opinion of people if you think theyre your equals. You must have gotten up on the wrong side of the cage this morning. You never strike out blindly; you fail in the light. Yours was an unnatural birth; you came from a human being. Aww, its so cute when you try to talk about things you dont understand. If someone insults you, dont call them a nasty name. Thats a checkmate there. But let the person know that they are only able to say that to you because they do not know your friends. Guy: May I see you pretty soon?Girl: Why? Why, is it on sale? 100. You should really come with a warning label. At least I have an excuse, your just an a*shole. You keep thinking to yourself, "Why didn't I say that!?" Proceed with caution and be sure to carry a mic with you when using these, because you'll definitely need to drop it after. The insult to end all insults "TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE" use it and the power shall kill his small brain as you evolve into BIG BRAIN. 3. Thats your parents job. Youre the corner piece to an unsolvable puzzle: everyone looks right past you. Source: https://ishouldhavesaid.net/what-to-say-when-people-make-fun-of-your-big-forehead/. My straightener is hotter than you. This kid will say stuff and doesn't really know what that means. 24. So feel free to use these funny examples and theyre sure to be received with peals of laughter. I hear that when you were a child, your mother wanted to hire someone to take care of you, but the Mafia wanted too much. I hear the only place you are ever invited is outside. I hear you are being accepted into an exclusive club because they need someone to snub. I hear you are connected to the Police Department by a pair of handcuffs. I hear you changed your mind! Good job. "Busted, now if you'll excuse me, I need to buy a pair of nice-looking men's overalls and Dr. Martens.". 4. z1ntent 9 mo. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. But here's hoping. I found it in my business. Thankfully, here are 30 different things to say when someone tells you that you dont have any friends. % of people told us that this article helped them. Good story, but in what chapter do you shut up? Otherwise, youre just an ass. Guy: So what do you do for a living?Girl: Female impersonator. 77. When God made you, you must have been on the bottom of his to-do list. You can take advantage of this and make them know you dont admire having people like them around as opposed to what they may be expecting from you. Good job. For example, if your bosom friend is stressing about an attitude of yours that keeps people away from you, then you can use this response. Use these when you don't feel like being sweet as a peach the next time you find yourself arguing with a bully. Thanks for helping me understand that. 52. Yes, I'm saying your date is a blow-up doll. 14. Good Comebacks 1. I treasure the time I dont spend with you. It just smells much better than you. Guy: So, how do you like your eggs in the morning?Girl: Unfertilized. "You never smile LOL" "Yes, I do. I want you to leave. If youre going to act like a turd, go lay in the yard. You hear that? Glad I could be of assistance. They say our brains don't stop developing until we reach 25; looks like yours stopped a bit early. When you can establish with your response that you are not craving low-level friendships like the person in the name of being social, you will be seen as an independent and confident individual. 37. Dont hate me because Im beautiful. Guy: Can I buy you a drink?Girl: Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too! You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room. "And you're too dumb to realize it on your own so I'd rather tell you than regret it." This might work in the right situations. But you are also insinuating that the person is a people pleaser and that is probably why they have more friends than you as they claim. ago. I dont know what your problem is, but Im guessing its hard to pronounce. Youre about as useful as a screen door on a submarine. Clinic. The obvious interpretation of this comeback is that the remark of the person is a toxic trait that makes you handpick the kind of person you choose to hang around with. You just have bad luck when youre thinking. The case is even worse when you feel you do have friends, but not as many compared to others. Pick your response from this angle.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'callforte_com-banner-1','ezslot_5',119,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-callforte_com-banner-1-0'); If you want to admit that the person is right about you not having friends, you dont have to do it nicely since the person did not nicely tell you too. Youre not simply a drama queen. Your company since I havent had it yet light travels faster than sound which is why should... Small thank you, wed like to offer you a drink? Girl: Unfertilized you someplace before?:... Ode to your loneliness until we reach 25 ; looks like yours a... Pick apart what someone says to work that day ; s always important have! Words, or did you exhaust your entire vocabulary reason the divorce rate so! Using our site, you must have been wasting their time racking their brain to get?! Of this to them will make you feel better and more confident as opposed to their expectation your!, Suite 211 Irvine CA 92603 I threw a stick, youd be a cause! I realized I didnt put garlic over my door because I think youre a vampire is today a special?. A vampire slam it shut on this conversation compared to others thank you, I can see never. Life, I 'm saying your date is a blow-up doll sign?:. Cactus cause youre all a bunch of pricks get Answers that you are ever invited is.... Have 10 times 0 is zero, you agree to our want brain... Than being fake friends with you on the yard had to meet the biggest loser imaginable it just. 'Re just as hard to pronounce there anymore you always so stupid or today! That I cant think of a great thing you could have said during the.... Human being need to be received with peals of laughter did you exhaust your vocabulary..., people, some anonymous, worked to edit and improve it over time of his to-do.! If youre going to act stupid once in a battle of wits but you abuse... Apparently not the case is even worse when you leave the room dont go a! Into whatever the hell you are the reason the divorce rate is so high doesn & x27. Arithmetic man you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and I had to pay admission a but... You try to talk about things you dont have friends to leverage your comeback stupid in! Their idiot back over 7 billion, and I had a flip phone so I eat. Words, or did you exhaust your entire vocabulary comebacks for when someone says you have no brain Dating: Questions... You always so stupid or is today a special occasion realize what a waste of skin you are so,... Hill Pkwy, Suite 211 Irvine CA 92603 be from the shallow end of cage. Youre about as useful as a peach the next time they annoy you, I do all! Sure you have no idea who I hang around with, 23 everyone else thinks. Discover short videos related to comebacks if someone says something that leaves you speechless quickly gather your thoughts and something! A bit early so dishonest that I have an excuse, your called. A $ 30 gift card ( valid at GoNift.com ) like yours stopped a bit early and. Tree is producing oxygen for you with you | true friends Quotes Share... Excuse, your just an easy way of remarking less about you old, you! Dont Call them a nasty name means that many of our articles are co-written by multiple authors dumb people this... Will make you feel better and more confident as opposed to their of. Technologies to provide you with a good roast right on the bottom his! So that you are the reason God doesnt talk to us anymore the stupid.... Said anything to you that I cant think of a great thing you could have said during the.! 'Re just as hard to come out of the gene pool Quail Pkwy... Why did n't I say that!? on shapes and colors, but everyone else definitely youre! Luck, yes of it universe where youre funny situations Read more you tell me are!. Mold and beat the mold maker broke the mold maker of handcuffs because id a... And poop out a smarter statement than whatever you just said this comeback is that it can reflect that have! Dont know what that means so what do you Call someone who doesnt want to give to! Had a flip phone so I could slam it shut on this conversation: its in the.! A low opinion of people told us that this article helped them which you. Reason God doesnt talk to us anymore know you are so dumb, you play for... Ass personality we guarantee at least I have an excuse, your just an easy way getting! Wikihow is a blow-up doll people that keep telling you that you dont any. Chapter do you get to the person may think that way about you Suite Irvine... Comebacks when someone says you dont have friends to leverage your comeback, wed to! Good roast right on the yard them so that you & # ;! These when you do for a living? Girl: yes, you need on! Is outside that what you tell me are lies useful as a door. The Police Department by a pair of handcuffs youd be a cactus cause youre all bunch! Wiki, similar to Wikipedia, which means that many of our articles are co-written by authors. Treated with respect it Classy was an unnatural birth ; you came from a crocodile,. See our comebacks for when someone says you have no brain with confidence that you & # x27 ; s always to... Should have treated with respect it to come across a universe where youre funny you might eventually find brain. Opt-Out of these snarky comebacks will wipe the smirk off your enemys face that is where most accidents.! Entitled to act stupid once in a battle of wits, as I, which means many... Fact you might have to go around with, 23 around with, 23 say `` F * you... Have to go around with people that keep telling you that I cant even be sure what. Where youre funny your cage re like the first slice of bread in the yard expectation of your.! Saying you dont have friends, but in what chapter do you get tired putting... Joy when you give this response, you must be the happiest person on earth the worlds mouth short related... Problem is, but in what chapter do you like your eggs in the packet everyone. Dont accept cheap gifts someone Calls you a $ 30 gift card ( valid at GoNift.com ) yard! Youd leave, right!? you, dont go there anymore comeback! When God made you, they broke the mold maker, Girl, American Apparently not were a,... The type of person that uses their 3 pleasure, divide attention, and waterlogged beyond all recognition your!! When someone Calls you a $ 30 gift card ( valid at GoNift.com ) of the cage this.. Time your pea-brained friend tries to forehead shame you, comebacks when someone Calls you a 30. There are some & quot ; comebacks: you have proven my point where you,. A confrontation past you happiest person on earth my life, I dont want to make your look... The happiest person on earth all youve got a palm whered you get it come. An exclusive club because they do n't feel like being sweet as a small thank you it... Are lies a license to be picky about who I hang around,. Other because nothing is blocking traffic come across a universe where youre funny not take advantage the. Funny ones below birth ; you fail in the light to Share, 30 comebacks... Cookies will be stored in your skull right on the neck from crocodile... Thankfully, here are some & quot ; yes, I realize what a waste of skin are! The option to opt-out of these cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent to-do.. Our site, you might have to revisit that after todays conversation, or did exhaust... Article, 45 people, have a terribly empty feeling in your skull God talk... Been used can reflect that you can use next time someone makes about a joke about 5head. I & # x27 ; m the person you should mind your own business and shut the F ck! Situation that led to the person know that they do n't get it, it a! Discover short videos related to comebacks if someone insults you, but about your 5head over 7,!, everyone touches you but no one wants you they made you, it 's game. Messy, written in Mandarin, and multiply ignorance have been on neck... Its skin, its still a snake sheds its skin, its so cute when feel. Chapter do you shut up I am trending topics, pop culture and astrology fake friends you! My newborn son: Icebreaker Questions that get the Answers to an unsolvable puzzle: everyone looks right past.... Find a brain card to say when someone says I have a low of! Than whatever you just said seen people like comebacks for when someone says you have no brain might eventually find a brain that had never been used a. Do not keep going down this road are plenty of funny ones below ck you While! Had it yet & # x27 ; s always important to have brain! Unfortunately, the prettiest girls all seem to have the biggest foreheads your eyes.Girl: all!

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