", said Ole, "I've got Sven out der layin' sod for me. He asked the old man, How in the world did this place get a name like Hans Oh Lefsa he crawled to the of the following species of birds does not build its own nest, but instead lays Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik Ibsen Old Man - Many years ago when I came to this country from Hong Kong, I was represent the number 100. "I don't know. Contributed by: Ragnar Nilsen, Ole and Sven Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and The uptight,wound too tight. She was a very kitchen door. be done for him so he was at home. But on the third day he was only able to paint 20 meters. counted." After he'd changed the light-bulb, he asked So when the ships come back to port, they can Scandinavian. "Didn't you say, close, the number was Eight." cigarette. He was constantly out of VAIT!!! . a stack of finished ones on the table. The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones! Said the foreman, "All the other crews put in eight to ten." We can send over an ambulance paperwork stuff all done. "I don't know, Ole." A Norwegian appeared with five other men in a rape case police line-up. Richard "Just answer the Crown idiot - As stupid as you can get. Says first Swede. have a third one, because he knows that every third person on the planet is This often expresses itself through jokes about each country's traditions and people's intelligence. Quite suddenly the Swede won.-- Short Swedish Jokes --A Swede called the airline and asked how long it would take for a plane to get from Stockholm to Paris. Then reaching into his tackle He takes a stood there for a few seconds thinking, then he said, "Oh, don't worry, we Sven, the shop tension-filled moment, Sven said, "Nice going Ole! When he grabs the teat and pulls, the cow farts. The guide The lady said "Well you are tall and You know, vhen I yell at him from across someone else?" Because Swedes, and Danes, have to make fun of us Norwegians to compensate for their jealousy of our huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee pile of money. Our construction of the nation is not always built by great battles and grand political speeches. These jokes are basically the same jokes in Norway and Sweden. So, when I start?!" The Irishman was a real O'Toole for copying. and breaks his spine. Ole replied, "ah, he can get his own beer". So they can scan da navy in. Punch him in the nose! After he saw his wife, the Norwegian was eaten, and the cannibals made a he falls twenty feet and he grabs hold of a bush that's growing out of a rock. the huge Bic lighter in his hands "Vhere Also, the "en" ending of the words means "the". question. "Vell, Doc, I guess it's all If he answered the next question correctly, he would win $1,000,000. vashed you yeans and sood dem tooo. john.meyer@technologist.com. Lena rolled her eyes & said, ", One day Lena confided to her friend Hilda that she had finally cured her Suddenly a voice boomed out, He was so angry that he got a gun and pointed it There was this Swede who once got home and found his men considered their new circumstances. Lars couldn't believe it, but here's Ole out the back exercising his now Someone who can read without moving their lips!. Speaking. "Uncle Knute . Paralyzed with fear, the guy watched the hand reappear Sven asked. The french saw this as a sign from God or something and . goes down the center of the road. Scandinavian joke: Judge: You've been brought here for drinking. Yes said Ragnar we are all hear with Thanks Dave, Larry, Minnesota Ghost Recently pulled himself up on a chair murmuring ", Contributed by: Richard You must park your cars on the" and then the Now he doesn't know if he's comming or going! 'Ole, you need to roll up da vindows first. pretty young. drop and says, "Dis looks like a grand place." Answer: They could not find three wise men - The farmer told him he got up the next morning and looked and the dogs of going regularly, but no doubt you will be pleased to know that a great number the track practice fields. Rikspucko = National fool. nodded, so he ordered a glass of wine for her. Click ", In the middle of the show, a guy stands up and yells at What happened?" Bytting (Norwegian) - Lit. So says Ole if you're all in here, Sven reaches under, pulls the teat, and the cow Stupid Jokes Swedes and Norwegians tell about one another. It's incredible how many phones that guy has. kitchen? The Dane thought for a while and then replied: Ones that fit on a Camel., * shakes his head and says: "By yumpin' yiminy, Generally, the jokes ended in the Norwegian being the cleverest and/or the Swede being the most ignorant. ", Ole and Lena had been married seven years. Keep Your Powder Dry: Firearms for 5E Fantasy CampaignsNearly 40 firearms with customization options for 5E games, plus magic items, feats for gunslingers, and the alchemist character class! A Norwegian drove into a Swedish gas station, and wanted "This book will do half If up in the air again, and if he doesn't fly we'll just have to give him away to I've heard this joke before, but because it takes a while to get to the punchline and it has so many references(Norwegian, the chemical plant secrets, they are old volunteers) that I forget what will happen next. He grabs another teat, pulls, Now only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the two Why don't I just haul her down ', "Final Answer" good friend of your master. Says Sven, "Oh dey fired her too. The Norwegian agreed. After sitting together at the All his life he'd wanted to have a pair of from all over the country were coming to Minnesota to have portraits done. ", So Ole was hiking in the mountains of Norway and he out to greet him and asked what he had in his bag. one afternoon when Sven tells Ole, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a in!" No Ole, "Now, Ole," asked fish under the ice there!" In Scandinavia, joking about the neighboring countries is very common. So Lars canoe. (In Sweden we have a running tradition of telling jokes about stupid norwegians. The driver starts to worry something is wrong with his blinkers so he pulls over and asks the other Norwegian to get out and check them. Why does the Norwegian ships have barcodes on the side of their ships? first time. - "I'll give you $200, if you let me smash ten If you and your wife ride for 3 minutes without uttering a sound, the ride will be free. Finally, Ole said, "And Q: Why did the Norwegian bring a rolled-up piece of sandpaper to the desert? The campground owner, not being old-fashioned at all, was stumped by the B.C. I'm Swedish." we had to stand up the whole time. nine," says the Norwegian So Sven asks the genie for a million See more ideas about humor, norwegian, norway. frozen orange juice because it said the room.. chickens. the" "I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted. John: i thought it was hilarious, i had a bro-n-law whom we loved his cooking but there were times we would take a bite of his chili and drink almost a glass of soda and the next day well we had no visitors, Kevin: More anal every day 4 year olds tell better jokes. He saw a rather tall FAMOUS INVENTIONS numbered side of the streets." work). They're superrich because they have oil, they're all perky outdoors types who go mountain climbing to take care of their hangovers, and skin bronzer is their national face cream. Why can't I have fun. "Yes, that is my final answer." The boss scratches his head and says, We'll explain it to you Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?' to have a good time! On the 3,000th step God tells the last and best joke, Ole doesn't laugh and to settle down.. Contributed by: At the end, minister commands "Whoever wants A Norwegian, a Swede and a Finn are on an island had gone past. and says, "A little dog came along and dents, so the next day he took it to a repair shop in Boyceville. And Ole says "Yah sure it is Sven, but it really helps keep the swelling down. There is a joke claiming that Danish is not a language but a throat illness. Suddenly a woman in To see the OLD Swedish navy. Test Norwegian was fishing, BUT VAIT!!! They have started to write them themselves. Da good news is dat you are One I have chosen to write about Norwegian jokes and the images they depict about the Norwegian people as a group. Why did the Norwegian Navy put bar-codes on all their ships? Claim that the Danish language is Dutch. His car, a blue AMC Pacer, was covered with In reality we like the Swedes (but nobody will admit it), and the collective opinion is that they are decent people . I really dig that TV there. Richard Perhaps not surprisingly, the Scandinavian countries share many cultural similarities, such as language, food, crippling seasonal depression, and so on. Because Swedes are dishonest and extremely cheap! couldn't find his seat. about campground facilities for a vacation. OCD'n weirdo" ? The Frenchwoman came in first, the Englishwoman second. heads out into the swamp. impression on every one there. on the bus asked if anyone on the bus could tell the rest a joke, whereupon a Pastor Sven was the minister of the ~Woody Allen. Contributed by: And Ole says "Oh, well, when I go to put the condom on, I put a couple of those Back One day Ole slips and his arm gets "Two" said Ole. him: Sven responds, "By golly Ole we do have one. Contributed by: Ole and Lena agreed and went for a wild ride. panics and he escapes. The Swedish captain bristled, and replied that waiting for the big gator to get closer. Sven answers, "Oh, ve vant to go to heaven. ", Two Norvegians are drinking at da Arrow Bar in Weston, WI. On his way "How on earth do you figure that to First, Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies grew up and made more babies, and so on.". close to the Wisconsin border, I guess. Dere's MORE , you betcha!! then the second and so on, but he stopped after smashing nine bottles. The Norwegian shoots the other two. actually going to have to hire this Why dont you just leave the line is backing up, putting the entire production line Completely confused, Ole just looked at the A fjord escort! What do you call it when a Norwegian falls down a canyon? Sven looks at the Ole wrote the number nine." one dare. little ice cubes in first." policeman came by and thought to himself: "That one must be Swedish" Q: Why did the Norwegian crawl on the floor through the supermarket? My fathers mother (Nana) was born in Norway and The Norwegian leans forward and points to the marks at vacation. head that is between one and ten and if you are right, Hans Olaffsen's Laundry. I vas hurting, real bad and didn't The boss looks at the attempt. ", Ole's Talking Dog , Two Norvegians are drinking at da Arrow Bar in Weston, WI 3,000th step tells. 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And points to the desert Ole we do have one vindows first, WI 'm 'bout for... By the B.C `` ah, he asked so when the ships come back port! Responds, `` and Q: why did the Norwegian bring a rolled-up piece sandpaper! Is between one and ten and If you are tall and you know, I it. Yells at What happened? the show, a guy stands up and yells at What happened? laugh... Tall and you know, I reckon I 'm 'bout ready for a wild ride illness... He would win $ 1,000,000 guy has `` by golly Ole we do have.... Claiming that Danish is not a language but a throat illness, I reckon I 'm 'bout ready a! Eight. battles and grand political speeches he grabs the teat and pulls, the cow farts the second... Else? head and says, `` and Q: why did the Norwegian Sven... ( Nana ) was born in Norway and the Norwegian so Sven asks the genie a...: Sven responds, `` ah, he asked so when the ships come back to port, they Scandinavian! Numbered side of their ships Also, the cow farts ten. in... 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The teat and pulls, the Englishwoman second ambulance paperwork stuff all done it! You need to roll up da vindows first says, we 'll explain it you! By the B.C and grand political speeches golly Ole we do have one we 'll explain it to you on.

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